I think my Kapo hadn't been going too well. I hadn't been coming up, not getting in as deep and there's a lot of build up to Kapo that feels all for nothing if the Kapo itself doesn't work out. Yes, I know I shouldn't be thinking about them as just preps for Kapo, but when you feeling negative.... Karanda had been a bit hit and miss too, as was Mayurasana and Nakrasana, and I still couldn't hold on to my toe in SUPV, the seven deadlies have always felt a waste of time. What are they for? Would rather do one long headstand.
But yesterdays practice changed all that. Everything had gone so well ( see yesterdays post) that I knew I hadn't lost any asana and was still progressing in them, rather than slipping backwards. Almost ran onto my mat this morning. Interestingly though, despite the negative feelings towards Intermediate and dragging my heels to practice, I never missed a day, always managed to get on the mat..... eventually. Just had to force myself not to think any further ahead than the Sury's
This morning I woke up at 5am, couldn't get back to sleep so started my practice at 5:30 ( I usually practice 6:45 -8.00). Nice practicing earlier, felt like I had all the time in the world. As it happens I really sailed through, everything went well except coming up from Kapo but I'd come up so smoothly the day before that I was cool about it, Cest la vie.
I was much less tired too, managed to stick to the count and the breath pretty much all the way through except for a moments rest before Kapo and Karandavasana. At the end I felt refreshed again same as yesterday. Is it really all mental, I mean that's how I feel after my Primary, even though my mat is soaked with sweat I still feel refreshed, but the last couple of weeks on Intermediate I've had to drag myself through the last third of the series, Interesting.
Finished and went through the Vinyasa Krama meditation sequence and then threw something on and did half an hour Vipassana (still can't be bothered with more than a minute or two Savasana, would rather do a seated meditation,). So perfect mornings practice, tempted to set the alarm for 5am tomorrow, let's hope this lasts.
2 comments:
"I hadn't realized that my negativity towards the series was coming from an insecurity about the practice itself."
You hit the nail on the head, my friend! I wanted to jump out of my chair and yell, "Me, too!"
Sometimes (lately) intermediate doesn't make me feel good about myself. And, amusingly, to read that previous sentence back makes me laugh at myself and suspect I have ridiculous nadis.
More shodana!
Nearly didn't post that one glad I did now. Hope you get a good Intermediate soon and feel all is well with the world.
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