Following my beautiful (thank you Arturo) heel bound Kapo on Tuesday, have I since ascended the mountain on a cloud to sit amongst the Buddhas and Rishi's, chew the yogic cud with Patanjali him/herself? Sadly no, this morning's Kapo was back to normal, in fact worse than usual, I managed to reach my toes but failed to come back up.
Perhaps I was thinking about it too much, trying too hard to get the set up the same as Tuesday, or perhaps it was yesterdays Primary, who knows. I'm almost amused by it, almost.
But It's there now, somewhere. I know I can get in that deep now and I kind of know how I did it. Before, in the back of my mind there was always the nagging voice of Grilley whispering, '...perhaps you don't have the bones for it', or another voice snidely suggesting that I'm too old for such nonsense. It was similar with the Drop back, I did it and then I didn't, it came and it went like the wind but the fear was gone. Now I do them when I feel like it, not everyday, it's the same with coming back up from UD. It depends how much time I have, If it's a choice between drop back work and PCM then I'll drop the drops.
Tomorrow of course is another practice.
8 comments:
I think Grilley has done a lot of people a real disservice with that nagging, whispering voice 'I can't do it because of my bones'. People take that on board far too easily.
Those bad boys will be bound again! Sometimes asanas visit and then take little vacations, but they always come back. Especially with your discipline/determination :-) kudos to you, I still only dream of my heels!
And yet if he's right that sometimes our bones do make certain things impossible and that no two practitioners are going to look the same then maybe he stops some practitioners and indeed som teachers from causing injuries. that said your right of course it can just add another excuse...my arms are too short!!!
Guess it's where you need a good teacher and being able to trust them helps.
Thanks KMB, I'm cool with, it'll come back your drop back too. Nothing like the humnan body for bringing about humility.
The "I can't" or "I'm too old" voices are insidious vrtti -- much like the "I did it yesterday, what if I can't do it today?!" vrtti.
The answer, of course, is: Practice! Put down the debate (vrtti-fest) and get those chitta vrttis nirodhahed! :-)
Nevertheless, it is true that the "I can't" and "I'm too old" voices are true. What's wrong with that? It is completely true that aging, older ashtangis can't do things and must modify to continue to practice. I know, because I am one. Teachers must recognize this truth.
Suzie i just wrote the reply below on another comment (yesterdays Mayurasana post) I had your comment in mind so will paste it here as i think it deals with the same issue.
I'm guilty of thinking of certain variations as cheats too. I received a comment from Suzie last night on another post on the question of age. I think generally we tend to use 'cheat' in a kind of soft teasing way in Ashtanga. That's fine perhaps when your progressing well enough, but If your stuck on a pose for a long time then referring to your best variation as a cheat must become irritating. And if your older when you begin Ashtanga, perhaps one of the Swenson variations is as far as your going to get in a pose (or your perhaps going to progress much more gradually, of course this is not always the case) and that should be considered an appropriate variation rather than a 'cheat'. Surely you shouldn't be held back in this case even if it means variations throughout the series.
But then there's that tendency in Ashtanga to think of achieving one pose perfectly as physically essential before you can progress. I remember the dogma about coming up before starting 2nd. But perhaps that's just certain students who are that dogmatic rather than experienced teachers. Sharath just says it's preferable.
I'm sure experienced teachers in other styles take account of age and physical condition. I imagine it's more problematic for purist Ashtanga teachers and where teaching experience is so important. It can't be easy in a Mysore class holding one person back while allowing another to employ variations, bit of a balancing act.
What I've read about SKPJ and Krishnamacharya this is something they were very aware of and would tailor a practice to the needs of the practitioner.
In a sense Ashtanga should be the ideal system for this with it's Mysore style self practice and the relationship you can build up with a teacher who can explore expectations and potential in a way class teachers perhaps are unable.
I'd be interested to hear more about your experience, are you held back or allowed/encourage to employ variations.
What does aging make us not able to do? I am curious about this. It seems like in Western culture people have strong physical vitality well into their 60s, anyhow -- and if someone's been practicing for a couple of decades by then (assuming they started "late," i.e., in their 40s), I'm not sure where they'd have to be making adjustments for age.
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