A friend on FB posted 'Praying for Japan' and I wanted to write the same or similar but having no deity I felt at a loss and almost yearned for something divine that I could call upon to help these people facing horrors that even a lifetime of disaster movies really can't allow me to grasp, cars turning this way and that as the waves come, such terror......
Twenty minutes before I caught the outrageously flippant and casual coverage on CNN I'd been chanting to Siva. Siva for pity's sake, the destroyer! Now I know there are subtleties to Shiva and I know why his throat is blue but frankly.... well I need another mantra.
Perhaps this practice has softened me somewhat, does it do that? I used to be so cold, so distant and objective but I've been to little towns like this in Japan having lived in Japan for several years, seen the old couples in rural and coastal Towns, bent over old lady's smiling at me, the foreigner and I see these waves.....
...and I'm not used to weeping at news stories, or at facebook prayers and I'm really not looking for a deity but it's supposed to be a spiritual practice isn't it, don't I get some air miles from this mornings tapas that I can pass Sendai's way.
Curiously chanting helps, thank you Ramaswami for bringing this cynical Englishman to appreciate your chants. Trying to decide whether I could face work and anxious parents concerned about a lost Clarinet pad, their child with a coming exam, I found myself chanting. Hadn't noticed I'd started, Ganesha prayer but slower than I usually chant it. Throughout the day I've been listening to Ramaswami's chanting or chanting to myself, most of them I have no idea what they're about but somehow they helped. I used to chant a little when I was feeling irritated or a bit down, perhaps they kicked in automatically.
Tomorrow, I'll need to think of a post to bury this one and I'm undecided whether to post it at all but perhaps I'm not the only one wondering about this practice, this 'spiritual (?)' practice that feels so insular and personal and today so impoverished when faced with the terrors and sufferings of others.
It's what 5am in Japan, I can't help but wonder if anyone managed to sleep and I wish I could send a prayer of some kind your way.
Update.
I've tried to write three posts since this but ended up abandoning them, perhaps I'm done. Still, there's practice, always practice. I'm back to my regular early morning Vinyasa Krama probably with Primary and Intermediate on Friday and Saturday, Pranayama, meditation and Chanting, lots of chanting plus an evening meditation practice with a little asana and pranayama prep.
PS Nice site supporting the crew trying to control the Fukushima reactor
18 comments:
I appreciate your honesty and resonate with the frustration... It is so humbling to see that there is relly not that much we can do, or at least that is how I feel. I also find prayer helps, although perhaps I am on the ohter side of the spectrum having never been skeptical and perhaps guilty of cheerleaderism...
Dear Grimmly
I'm going to sit on my cushion and chant my mahayanan chants. It's the best I (we) can do. My eyes were glued to what little I could see online. I'm not surprised if CNN was flippant; I have often found callousness in American media, as if events were games. I watched it on BBC online and maybe they were more somber. I don't remember. Claudia we need cheerleaders, even those who look at life through rose-colored glasses.
hugs
Arturo
Yes. It feels awful to be almost a voyeur on other people's misery. A time when all we can do is offer money and hope our government is able to offer useful assistance. It seems like there are so many physical disasters happening right now. Maybe Gaia is trying to tell us something, on some level? I don't know ... Probably talking rubbish, but ... Really appreciated your post Grimmley.
I find that the physical practice 'opens' your heart, I don't know how or why, but I find myself more compassionate and empathetic towards others than I was before I started practicing yoga, my emotions carry me away and I cry for others all the time.. I agree with you Susiegb, something's going on out there..
It is miserable here, but your post is so thoughtful. Lovely to read.
Thanks for your comments guys, especially good to hear from you エスタ, was thinking about you as I know your not far from Sendai although on high ground. Can't imagine what it must be like to be there at the moment.
Actually, I felt a lump in my throat as I watched the tsunami wreaked havoc in japan. While I'm not quite deityless, I reached out to whatever grace I've left and sent my thoughts there.
More often than not, I've found myself chanting the opening and closing mantra of asthma - it gives me some comfort.
Ask me about god and I'll tell u most times god is bullshit - but that's just the situation in my life. But on days like 11 march, when people all around the world come tgr and send prayers and thoughts to japan, I can't help but think perhaps, it's time to change my mind.
Tks for your honest post, as always. :)
*hopping onto my mat to in a bid to put myself out of some misery*
And I meant Ashtanga, not asthma! (it's that iPad self correction spelling thingy!)
Thank you for commenting Cory, curious how a little chanting helps, nice that you don't confine the Ashtanga chants to before and after practice.
Here's a link to my favourite, you know a part of it from the opening ashtanga prayer
http://vinyasakrama.com/mp3s/ganeshaandyogaprayer.mp3
and here'a Ramaswami teaching it the traditional way
http://vinyasakrama.com/mp3s/Learning%20Patanjali%20Prayer%20Chant.mp3
Hi grimmly, was wondering what you meant by 'perhaps I'm done'. Do you mean your done (finished) with blogging? I hope not as your blog posts often help get me on the mat. Out of interest, what were the 3 posts you tried to write? if you do stop hope it's just for a break and that you'll be back soon. best phil.
Hi Phil. I guess that is what I meant.
That said there are plenty of Ashtanga blogs but very few on developing a Vinyasa Krama practice, feel kind of obliged to keep that side up and lots to explore there. Also pranayama, meditation, pratyahara, chanting too perhaps.
The three posts where along the lines of
'Do I really want to attend a workshop and if so which and why'
Something on why I'm not that interested in assists. oh and my favourite
'Mysore, cereal box/fortune cookie yoga philosophy
All ended up slightly negative and I decided I couldn't be bothered with it. My feeling at the moment is if I can't be positive I'd rather not write anything.
Check my blog list, plenty of wonderful new blogs around recently to help with motivation.
uh oh, I hope it is only writers block... and agreed, you are the vinyasa krama go to place, and inspiration, and product review, and yoga... I have faith
Thanks for sharing the chants with me :)
For me, some days, the need to remain silent and observant takes over? After sometime, my own observation is that I will gain an insight to why I was feeling the way I was (negative, pensive or anything else). That will be usually followed by a long blog post.
Would love to read your thoughts the workshop bit. I haven't signed up yet for David Swenson's (I'm should be signing up this Sunday). But am going for an outdoor session this Sunday - my first class in AGES. *feeling a bit apprehensive*
Thanks Claudia, writer's distaste rather than block though, A break perhaps.
Cory, the workshop one was just about whether to go to Manju's or David Williams. then I was just wondering if I was really that interested in techniques, adjustments or assists be nice to get a taste of the history though and what it was like back in the day.
David doesn't do adjustments or much on technique, LOTS of history though. Man, it would be hard to choose between those two, wish I had that problem.
I keep checking in over here and nothing new, :(, I hope the desire to blog returns to you, for my own selfish reasons. I love reading your take on your practice. But all the best, either way, of course.
Thanks Maya, no time to look at blogs, get scribbling, how many words so far today : )
...and sorry, normal(ish) blogging shall resume forthwith, how else will I justify an Ipad 2 to M.
i hope you keep writing also. i'm on the camp that views writing as a spiritual practice. but sometimes what comes out is crazy, and i spew out a lot of that.
it's good to know your VK routine. i need to ramp up my practice, speaking of which, it's time to start today's.
Thanks Arturo. Probably will 'though perhaps less often. Here I just wanted to bury the previous post and it was a curious weeks practice. Back seems fine now so I'm slipping back into five mornings of vinyasa krama with Primary and 2nd on friday and Saturday. Might bring Advanced A back on Sundays when the weather finally warms up.
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